Secrets of successful Internet dating...

We're a genuine Internet couple, meeting in April of 1992 on Prodigy's Heinlein Forum. After thousands of emails and meetings (aka "dates") in Minnesota, Oregon, Colorado, and California we married in Nevada in April of 1995. Our children are of the furry variety, Tasha, Mysha, Ember, and Krystal. I work at a PBS television station as a broadcast engineer/Master Control operator. Geo is a programmer/analyst for an insurance company.

1. Stay out of the chat rooms 

You get what you look for. If you go to a place named something like "Desperate Women Seeking Any Male Biped" that's what you're going to get. Chat rooms are terrible places to have an in-depth, or intelligent, conversation even in the best of circumstances--the dialog is too broken up and brief. You simply can't get to know a person well in a chat room. 

2. Go to areas of your own interest; bulletin boards and newsgroups

I wasn't looking for a spouse. Neither was Geo. We met on a bulletin board with people discussing an area of interest we shared in common--science fiction author Robert Heinlein. One of my comments caught his attention and we carried the conversation over into private email. 

You can read about the Heinlein Forum elsewhere on this site--the group has been active for over eight years with many of the original members, and new members from around the world. There are four married couples that came together due to the Forum, directly or indirectly, as well as countless close friendships and some business associations. The Internet is an excellent place to meet people if proper sense and caution are used. 

3. Take your time

Geo and I traded emails, covering endless subjects, every day for a year before we ever spoke on the phone the first time. Another year of emails and phone calls passed before we met in person. It was three years before we got married. Our email correspondence consisted of 2.5mb of pure text--that's over 6000 printed pages. Think about writing 6000 letters back and forth to someone. We talked over everything, and got to know each other a lot more thoroughly, than people who do normal dating, going to movies and dinner and such. Our 'dating' was one of pure exploration and discovery of who the other person was in the important ways. 

4. Observe the formalities

The Internet is a new way to meet a person, but the essentials of contact and relationships haven't changed as a result. Before any commitments were made we had met each other's families, seen where each other lived and worked--in essence, we checked the references. In fact, neither of us was willing to give up job, home, etc., on merely promises or prospects. We got married in Reno and a day later both went back to our respective homes--mine in Minnesota, his in California. The first six weeks of our marriage we lived 2000 miles apart. 

5. Don't be stupid

Observe basic caution. Don't post your address or phone number on a public site. Meet new people in person in public or controlled settings unless you have references about them from people you trust. It's harder for someone to maintain a false persona on-line than you might think, but still, use the same sort of caution you would in any other circumstances. 

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