Christmas Lights Denial

The Stages of Christmas Lights Denial:

1. I’m just not going to do lights this year. It’s too much work and I don’t have time.
2. Christmas, bah! Waste of effort.
3. Anyhow, no one cares about my Christmas lights. Sure I’ve enjoyed them, and it’s kind of nice for the neighbors to know we have a little Christmas spirit…
4. Sure, I could put lights up before Thanksgiving and just not plug them in until after. It is nice and warm and no snow yet, so it would be easier.
5. But it’s really too warm to be thinking about Christmas lights. There should be snow on the ground to really get into the spirit.
6. Besides, I have to clean the house and prepare for Thanksgiving.
7. Thanksgiving is enough work for this season. I will not put lights up the weekend after Thanksgiving. No.
8. No. No lights this year. None. I’m too tired. We’ll just take a nice drive around the neighborhood and see everyone else’s lights.
9. Some nice lights up, but, really, when I go all-out, my display rivals any of the neighbors.
10.  Doesn’t matter, it’s too cold now to do lights. My hands get too cold. No lights.
11. Okay, maybe next weekend I’ll just put up the light-up snowman over the garage. Just one thing, quick and easy. But only that.
12. Of course, once I’ve hooked up the power and lights timer for the light-up snowman, I may as well run a string over the front of the garage, just for highlights, so the snowman doesn’t look so lonely.
13. What idiot tangled all my lights together last year taking them down? Don’t answer that.
14. I’m not untangling all these lights. No lights this year.
15. I guess this string isn’t too badly tangled.
16. Just this one string, but I’m not going to do any lights that require a ladder.
17. Only what I can reach from the little stepladder.
18. Of course, if I have to get the big extension ladder out for the snowman, maybe I could reach a few strings higher yet.
19. Well, those two strings are already hooked together, may as well add a third so it doesn’t end mid-way across the house.
20. I could just about reach the peak of the garage if I put the extension ladder full length and braced it against the front of the truck.
21. Let’s see, if I have a 15 amp circuit, how many strings of mixed regular and LED lights can I run off one plug…?
22. If I put the extension ladder full length in the back of the truck I could really reach high.
23. It would look better if I doubled the strings and mixed colored with white lights.
24. Hardly worth the effort with just these lights I already have, though. So, first I better drive into town and get some more lights.
25. LEDs are supposed to save energy. Ha! It just means I can string that many more together together without taking out the local substation!
26. Now we’re getting somewhere! If I shot fishing line attached to an arrow over that tree limb 60 feet up in that tree I could lift my reindeer and sleigh up to a really impressive height. Hmm…
27. Let’s do the house first. Maybe the 40 foot pine at the end of the driveway.
28. I can certainly use the top don’t-use-not-a-step step of the ladder if it’s against the pine tree. I’ll just hold onto the tree branches with one hand.
29. It’s not like I’m really scared of heights. Besides, I’ll land in the snow.
30. This gutter will hold my weight, won’t it?
31. Lights. I need more lights.
32. 600 feet of extension cords? Is that all I have? Who’s responsible for this oversight?
33. I’ve lost count of how many strings on this circuit. Oh, well, the extension cord is a little warm but not actually melting.
34. There’s an all-night drug store that sells Christmas lights, isn’t there?
35. Sure is pretty, but I am not doing this next year!