The Stages of Christmas Lights Denial:
- I’m just not going to do lights this year. It’s too much work and I don’t have time.
- Christmas, bah! Waste of effort.
- Anyhow, no one cares about my Christmas lights. Sure I’ve enjoyed them, and it’s kind of nice for the neighbors to know we have a little Christmas spirit…
- Sure, I could put lights up before Thanksgiving and just not plug them in until after. It is nice and warm and no snow yet, so it would be easier.
- But it’s really too warm to be thinking about Christmas lights. There should be snow on the ground to really get into the spirit.
- Besides, I have to clean the house and prepare for Thanksgiving.
- Thanksgiving is enough work for this season. I will not put lights up the weekend after Thanksgiving. No.
- No. No lights this year. None. I’m too tired. We’ll just take a nice drive around the neighborhood and see everyone else’s lights.
- Some nice lights up, but, really, when I go all-out, my display rivals any of the neighbors.
- Doesn’t matter, it’s too cold now to do lights. My hands get too cold. No lights.
- Okay, maybe next weekend I’ll just put up the light-up snowman over the garage. Just one thing, quick and easy. But only that.
- Of course, once I’ve hooked up the power and lights timer for the light-up snowman, I may as well run a string over the front of the garage, just for highlights, so the snowman doesn’t look so lonely.
- What idiot tangled all my lights together last year taking them down? Don’t answer that.
- I’m not untangling all these lights. No lights this year.
- I guess this string isn’t too badly tangled.
- Just this one string, but I’m not going to do any lights that require a ladder.
- Only what I can reach from the little stepladder.
- Of course, if I have to get the big extension ladder out for the snowman, maybe I could reach a few strings higher yet.
- Well, those two strings are already hooked together, may as well add a third so it doesn’t end mid-way across the house.
- I could just about reach the peak of the garage if I put the extension ladder full length and braced it against the front of the truck.
- Let’s see, if I have a 15 amp circuit, how many strings of mixed regular and LED lights can I run off one plug…?
- If I put the extension ladder full length in the back of the truck I could really reach high.
- It would look better if I doubled the strings and mixed colored with white lights.
- Hardly worth the effort with just these lights I already have, though. So, first I better drive into town and get some more lights.
- LEDs are supposed to save energy. Ha! It just means I can string that many more together together without taking out the local substation!
- Now we’re getting somewhere! If I shot fishing line attached to an arrow over that tree limb 60 feet up in that tree I could lift my reindeer and sleigh up to a really impressive height. Hmm…
- Let’s do the house first. Maybe the 40 foot pine at the end of the driveway.
- I can certainly use the top don’t-use-not-a-step step of the ladder if it’s against the pine tree. I’ll just hold onto the tree branches with one hand.
- It’s not like I’m really scared of heights. Besides, I’ll land in the snow.
- This gutter will hold my weight, won’t it?
- Lights. I need more lights.
- 600 feet of extension cords? Is that all I have? Who’s responsible for this oversight?
- I’ve lost count of how many strings on this circuit. Oh, well, the extension cord is a little warm but not actually melting.
- There’s an all-night drug store that sells Christmas lights, isn’t there?
- Sure is pretty, but I am not doing this next year!